What;s Beneath That Smile? : When Reality Becomes Your Worst Nightmare

I still remember that night like it was yesterday. Cold, dark and swamped with the fragrance of loneliness, All that accompanied me were the echoes of my parents  excruciating screams. They had started again...and this time it was worse. Worse than the other times..worse than my nightmares, worse than all my fears. It broke the only branch of hope I could lean on. When the shouts got closer and the words clearer I knew all my prayers have been left unanswered...then I heard my dad push my mum out of the house and slammed the door shut. I knew it was over as my mum's cries hung in the hair. That was the end of my once happy family. A family where love truly was the foundation and the bond as thick as wood. My father had become a monster and nothing could rekindle his heart. I was left alone. My name is Tito and this is my story...   There was no one who truly understood what I was going through for I had no friends, my mother was banished and my only brother out of the country.      I became a shadow of myself and began looking for love in all the wrong places. I needed explanations, redemption or even compensation. Somehow somewhere. Life couldnt be this cruel. And when he came into my life It was like a miracle. Bayo was his name. We met at a cafe, I ran out of time and couldnt afford money to buy another one hour, he then offered to help, not just with money but with his experience with computers. It wasnt long before we beame friends and from friends to lovers. He was the only one who understood me. His words, his touch gave me hope and strenght. I loved him and for once...I felt loved. He filled the gap that was in my life and was my everything.I got pregnant for Bayo and soon discovered he was a cultist. But he promised me he would quit and was only there for protection. He promised to marry me and be there for me all the way.  But life as we know it wasnt ready to let me off the hook that easily for my life was only a ticking bomb. On my way from class one evening, I received a devasting call that Bayo had been shot. My heart stopped and for a moment i was motioness. Like a mad man..I ran to the hospital he was taken to but the look on his friends face told me all. My love had been taken from me by the cold hands of death and as usual..I was all alone. I honestly just wanted to end it all, end my life...because there truly was nothing to live for. With my heart beating fast and my body shaking...I fell to the ground and the last thing I remember were people shouting my name from a distance.