Drop the marriage talk already because I
swear the more you go on about wanting
to be my wife, the less I will want it.
As we made our way into 2012, you said a silent
prayer asking God to please open Derrick's eyes or
whoever your Romeo is and make him realise that
a lifetime commitment was the next step in line.
You hoped that someday this year, he would,
somehow, get down on one knee and slide a ring
down your finger.
Disheartening though, we are pulling down the
curtain on this year and walking into 2013, and
there is no ring from Derrick. Prince Charming has
dug his heels in and it does not look like he will be
posing the big question anytime soon. Rather
than give up, it is time to change the game plan;
The right way to put your point across
The last thing a man wants to risk is proposing to
a woman he is not even sure is interested in
settling down with him. It is alright therefore that
you make him aware of your interest in a lifetime
commitment. However, the way most women
express their interest is the problem. Many men
fear commitment.
That is a fact. We are indeed slow to warm up to
the idea of marriage, therefore we need time.
Time to contemplate and take a decision only, and
only, when we feel you are the right woman and it
is the right time. So what you the woman should
do is to, fine, tell me of how you hope that in the
near future you would like to get married and
start a family, just so I'm aware. Now, do not
make that a daily song.
Drop the marriage talk already because I swear
the more you go on about wanting to be my wife,
the less I will want it. Make marriage the man's
idea not yours.
The business of lecturing me about how we should
be saving up and finding a better apartment, only
piles on the pressure making settling down begin
to appear less attractive.
Do not leave clues around the house
It is so unfortunate that most women think this
thing actually works. I know of this guy whose
girlfriend always made it a point to drop those
not-so-subtle clues. She repeatedly left bridal
magazines in full view, always placed a brochure
showcasing engagement rings right in the middle
of the living room and such things. He knew what
she was up to, it just wasn't working. In fact, it did
not work. This kind of behaviour just creates
resentment. It makes the man feel like he is being
choked into something he is not sure he wants. So
ladies, for 2013, bargaining for a ring this way
may guarantee more failure than success.
Do not try to make him jealous
I totally disagree with the popular opinion among
women that if you flirt around with other bulls and
make your man jealous, he will opt for marriage
as a way of keeping you to himself. Whoever
offered you this jewel of advice, lied. No man
wants you to play around with his heart and
feelings. Making a man jealous will not make him
crave a commitment. Do not be shocked when he
instead asks you to go get married to that other
man you keep making calls to and showering with
praises over the phone.
Pull back and make him feel your absence
Granted, every man will want to marry a woman
who shows the greatest love, affection and
admiration towards him. But I know of a number
of women who, in a bid to express happiness, love
and devotion to their men, go an extra mile to
offer their entire body and soul and are convinced
it will get the question coming. Big mistake my
sister! My advice is that you pull back a bit, both
emotionally and physically, because no man is
going to push for anything beyond dating if he is
already getting all his needs met. Pull back. Make
me want to marry you. I need to feel your
absence. Make me feel just how awful life would
be without you and realise that the only way to
keep you around and re-affirm my lifetime joy and
happiness is to simply commit.
Now, the key principle
One thing though, always remember that when
dealing with men and proposals, patience is key.
The moment you are sure you are doing
everything right, sit back and leave everything to
him, and perhaps God, for He knows who your
suitor will be, and when you will step on the
marital ship. And please do not think of taking
matters in your hands and proposing to him. From
my own point of view, there is everything wrong
with a woman proposing marriage to a man but
do not get me started on that too.
May 2013 be your magical year in love.
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN
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