Being a sincere and nice person is an important thing for a woman. You may even have felt secretly proud that you've got 'a lot of NICE' going for you. Yet, there's a real danger of going to extremes in our behavior - in anything we do. And, you really can be too nice!
This is actually the fastest way to be taken for granted and also taken advantage of by a man. Women are certainly known by men for their 'staying power' - and their plentiful supply of patience and soft pain-tolerating traits. Yet, even in a committed relationship, a man may take full advantage of the fact. Yes, it's definitely possible to be far too nice, to be too understanding, too indulgent, too helpful, too selfless.... Being unfailingly considerate towards a man may keep you in a relationship (for a time,) it may prevent arguments and clashes with him, but it won't gain his admiration or respect. A man being able to highly respect a woman is CRUCIAL in a romantic relationship.
Respect is also one of the major building blocks of love.So if a man isn't able to respect you or secretly admire your inner strength, he won't ever be able to fall in love with you either. Let alone truly appreciate you. A man actually prefers a 'spunky,' exciting and slightly daring woman over a predictable, boring and 'too nice woman' any day!
Some women think that as long as they can keep a man 'happy' (by being eternally nice, EASY, accepting, giving and giving and giving .... and always smiling, (no matter what,) her man will eventually end up deciding that she's the ONE. He'll see that there's no one nicer, and more sincere, right? And, they'll eventually get married and walk off into the sunset holding hands on a beach somewhere....Yet, nothing could be further than the truth! A nice woman sets herself into a TRAP of her own making. And, while she's floundering about in there; abandoning her own desires, forgetting about her own needs and neglecting her own interests, the next thing you know - the man's gone off and married someone else! A woman he respects and appreciates. A woman who's not afraid to challenge him, to stand up for herself - even to help him GROW.
You say you want to 'BE REAL,' and you say you want to have a real relationshipwith a real man don't you? Well, how's being real, authentic, and living according to your own authentic feelings ever possible if you're being too nice? By giving up all the things that make you unique and interesting (and, ultimately WHO YOU ARE,) and even being willing to quash down your values, you're actually destroying the attraction and admiration he held for you at the beginning. You may also be showing a man that you have 'issues' with being treated too well. And, if a man isn't having to work for you, isn't appreciating you, doesn't have to impress you and is in fact taking advantage of you (even failing you,) and you just tolerate - that's not being 'feminine' or tolerant; that's spineless! True femininity isn't about becoming a 'Stepford wife' kind of woman, let's get that clear! It's about being feminine and 'girly,' YES! But it's also about being; soft yet tough; gentle yet bold. So, be understanding and supportive to a man, YES. Be easy going and NICE, but don't be too nice! Always be assertive about your own particular needs, honor your values and while you're at it - put some boundaries about yourself (a little 'bitchiness' never goes astray.)That also means you're not always letting the man have his own way. Sometimes a woman makes the huge mistake of putting the man first in a relationship and making it so how HE FEELS that's most important. Sadly, she ends up miserable and intimately ALONE.
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